The Fourth Letter

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As you’re already aware my first draft has been completed. I quickly began the editing process and writing my 2nd draft not long afterward. The first three letters have been very smooth with one of them almost bringing me to Happy Tears.

Now I’m at the Fourth Letter and it just brings me so much mental drainage to even reread. Every time I reach a new topic I am utterly disgusted. Not even  in my Ex, but in my own personal decisions while dating him.

I was weak.

I was too forgiving.

He could have got away with murder.

I’m almost embarrassed for my younger self.

This relationship was the beginning of me losing my identity to a man. I began putting their needs, their reputation, their desires, all before mine. I began making all decisions for the betterment of him, not myself, not even for us.

Why didn’t I believe my soul had importance anymore?

This is the Climax.

 

Love,

London @londonfbby

 

 

Me VS. Brittany Renner

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Chlea London
Brittany Renner

With my First Draft being complete I have felt more comfortable accepting meetings to discuss what my book is actually about. Twice in my discussions has my book been compared to Brittany Renner’s book “Judge This Cover”. For those that do not know who Brittany Renner is, she is a women who gained popularity on Instagram for her good looks and fitness routines. If you look at her Instagram today you might say differently but the truth is still the truth.

Image result for brittany renner judge this cover

Hearing feedback of at least two persons who felt the same way, I felt the need to do research on her book. I had never read it before and I was not one of her followers. I read reviews on the book first before I proceeded to read it on my own.

I read the following chapters:

 INTRO, SETH , & HALFWAY POINT

I remember hearing that a women named Brittany Renner was writing a book on her past relationships promoting it with taglines like “7 men, 7 lessons”. This was the first time I had ever even heard of her name. I found it very interesting but I didn’t rush to read it because of it’s very mixed reviews considering it was about $20 and I wasn’t one of her fans.

After reading her introduction and the first two chapters I understand her being a lot more and can sympathise with her behavior. Once I figured out the gist of her book I couldn’t finish reading. While her book is interesting and very relatable, it’s filled with a lot of graphic conversations about sex  and anger towards certain individuals she speaks of. Such words have become distracting and overpowered the execution of the lessons she is sharing with her readers. I’ll most likely finish her book one day when I’m in the mood to read something that will definitely entertain me in ways that make me feel extreme lows.

It is my belief that Brittany is still in the healing stage of certain experiences. As I reader and writer I can feel the hatred and sadness she expresses through her writing. Even towards one of her exes mothers who she calls a cunt. I felt very drained while reading and almost depressed. This not what my book is about.

“An Open Letter to My Exes” will not make it’s reader feel depressed or drained. I have healed and each word has been written with not one ounce of hate in it’s pen. Not all the exes in my book totally suck balls, lol. Sometimes I’m the one that is sucking terriably and I’m vulnerable with my readers on what I did in those situations. My readers will feel safe, uplifted, engaged, and will gain a better understanding of themselves and their own relationships to help make better decisions in life..

 

xo,

@londfbby

 

The First Draft is Complete

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How do I feel..

I feel relieved that I actually sought out to do something and finished it.

I feel extremely happy and satisfied that it’s actually a quality piece of creative writing that has never been done this way before.

I feel anxiety being so vulnerable to persons I know and don’t know, it’s fucking frightening. My own best friend even said it’s going to be a deep dive for her; getting to know me on such a profound level.

I am aware this is one of my callings though; to help the many lost souls in distress, build happiness, and to break some of my own generational curses.

The flourishing continues….

xoxo,

@londonfbby

Intentions Must Align with Your Actions

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Location: South of 5th, Miami Beach, Fl

I’m watching the sunrise…

The First Draft of my first book is basically complete.

One of my girlfriends asked me if it was therapeutic and if I felt over them…

I replied,

“I’ve definitely been over all of them and all wounds have been healed way before I began writing. I don’t feel as though it was therapeutic. What I did realize after completing my writing was that each letter poses a different theme, which I think is cool and was totally unintentionally.”

My stories are not only about how no relationship is a waste of time and are all connected to our personal journeys, but it’s about loving yourself and being honest with your intentions and making sure it matches your actions. When our intentions do not match our actions it not only confuses us but also confuses the universe.

My Boyfriend Asked for Details on My Book About My Exes.

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Location: Brimstone Woodfire Grill

(The bae and I went here for brunch; we need to go for dinner too)

Writing a book about your exes isn’t weird until your current boyfriend sees you dropping hints on your Instagram about the book that’s about your exes and starts asking questions.

lol. yuupp….

That’s when things get awkward and I have to honestly answer his question on what is being said in the book.

By the end of me speaking a mile of minute and him listening my baby was speechless.

I still don’t know if that’s good or bad.

Move Confidently Forward; It Makes Sense Later

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Location: South of 5th, Miami Beach, Fl

The 17th of July I spent all day and night polishing this website…

(the Angel Number 7 had been following me throughout the day)

Adding photographs, deleting photographs, editing photographs and writing my personal message to you all.

Going through old photoshoots that I’ve done within the past two years, figuring out if anything was cohesive with my internet journal. Luckily I found a few that worked…

Want to know what’s amazing?…

When I worked on these professional shoots I had no idea in the moment why I was doing them. I just knew I wanted and needed to do them and I stayed a course on my journey not questioning too much and just doing.

I’m writing this to ya’ll to say…

Sometimes we do things in a moment and don’t know why, trust yourself and the vision and follow through, you’ll understand later.

xo,

London

Meet My Exes

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Everyone that we as humans come across in our lives impacts our being in some kind of way. Whether it be big and long lasting or small and last a few seconds.

Soon I will take you on the journey of meeting my ex’s.

Each teaching me many good and bad lessons to help mold my being in particular ways while navigating my specific life journey.

Over the next few months I will be meeting with an array of digital artists to help depict the perfect visual of each of my ex’s.

Stay Tuned..

Thank you for reading ❤

xoxo,

London @londonfbby

Contemplating An Ex’s Love

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I am almost done writing my first draft of my love lessons. I have two chapters left to write.

I am mentally drained from writing the last three chapters. I haven’t written anything in about 2 weeks. All of my thoughts have been about reflecting on my past work and how I plan on transitioning to this next chapter. I thought one way and now I’m thinking another.

The Ex I just finished writing about…. I already know he is going to truly hate this book. I feel as though no matter how I write it, he will have nothing good to say. He’ll try to stop it before it even hits shelves and he won’t even know if he’s even in it or not.

Is that someone they call a “true hater”?

Is that someone who doesn’t want you to succeed after a breakup? Even after they give you that cliche conversation,”I wish nothing but happiness and the best for you.”

Is that someone who never truly loved you at all?

I’m not sure this particular ex ever really loved me.

I’m not sure this particular ex ever really loved himself.

xoxo,

@londonfbby

London

An Open Letter to My Readers

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I began writing a compilation of letters about two months ago even though it’s been something I have wanted to write for over a decade.

This is a book written about my personal love experiences in the form of letters to my ex’s.

I needed my intentions to be in their purest form.

I had to go through the emotions of pain, happiness, and forgiveness.

I had lessons and knowledge I had to gain in order to share with you… the masses.

I had to be stubborn for you, then be open to humility, judgment, criticism, understanding, and love from you.

“An Open Letter to My Ex’s” is not me bashing the men I was in past relationships with. It is I, taking you and my ex’s back in time to when myself and that person were in a relationship and how each relationship strategically helped mold me into the person I am today.

It is about, how each relationship is connected to the next one and how I either gained the knowledge that the universe wanted me to learn or dramatically failed and my life continued to feel like a repetitive pattern.

It is about, how no relationship is a waste of time, even when it’s over & sometimes we feel defeated.

It is about, defeating any generational curses and to remind us that yes we have our parents DNA but firstly and always we are ourselves.

Email me or DM me on Instagram @londonfbby

Always willing to hear your thoughts.

Sincerely,

London